The Polite Princess

There once was a princess who was very polite.
She said “please” and “thank you” and “have a good night.”
She was so polite that she soon became famous,
But not at all boastful–that’s why she was nameless.
Princess Polite is what she was called
Outside the castle that was so high-walled.
But Princess Polite had a secret she hid–
She didn’t much like what she said and she did.

A duke came to visit–he was always late.
He grabbed the last cookie off of her plate.
He talked with his mouth full, spitting out crumbs.
The princess just said, “I’m glad that he comes.”

Her brother the prince said to Princess Polite,
“I’m sure you don’t mind that my dog barks all night.
Some people would mind, but you never complain.
Not even the night that he broke from his chain
And ate all your dolls–what an appetite!”
“He’s really quite cute,” said Princess Polite.

While everyone else got gladder and gladder,
Princess Polite got madder and madder.
“If they only knew,” she said to her mirror,
But still she was careful that no one could hear her.

One day a count came to sample her cake.
He sampled until there was one piece to take.
The prince’s dog came bounding up.
It upset the plate and ate the cake up.

The princess thought she would explode.
Her thoughts and feelings had to unload.
The princess said, “I wanted some cake!
I’m hungry, besides, it took hours to make!”

“Why didn’t you say so?” asked the count.
He walked to his horse, his trusty mount.
And from his saddlebags he drew
Some chocolate doughnuts he said were new.

With honesty the princess said,
“My favorite!” Then her face went red.


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Bored Tonight the Edinburgh fringe festival review site 2008.